{"id":1187,"date":"2015-10-03T22:13:46","date_gmt":"2015-10-03T22:13:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/?p=1187"},"modified":"2015-10-03T22:13:46","modified_gmt":"2015-10-03T22:13:46","slug":"mother-or-father-but-not-both","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/mother-or-father-but-not-both\/","title":{"rendered":"Mother or Father but Not Both"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijsFayPurdham.jpg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"1200\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/mother-or-father-but-not-both\/ijsfaypurdham\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijsFayPurdham.jpg?fit=500%2C500&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"500,500\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;1&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"ijsFayPurdham\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijsFayPurdham.jpg?fit=500%2C500&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-1200\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijsFayPurdham.jpg?resize=300%2C300\" alt=\"Fay Purdham\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijsFayPurdham.jpg?resize=300%2C300&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijsFayPurdham.jpg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijsFayPurdham.jpg?w=500&amp;ssl=1 500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a>Fay Purdham is in a unique position because of scientific advances. \u00a0Fay, who was born a boy, along with hormone treatments, has had sexual realignment surgery to create a woman\u2019s body. \u00a0Fortunately, socially progressive attitudes are accepting of the medical condition <a href=\"http:\/\/www.webmd.com\/mental-health\/gender-dysphoria\" target=\"_blank\">gender dysphoria<\/a>. \u00a0This is where a person can feel very strongly they do not mentally fit the body they are in. \u00a0During Fay\u2019s transition process, sperm from her male body was frozen.\u00a0 This will be used by a surrogate mother to father a child. \u00a0Fay wants to become the first person in Britain to be both the mother and father of the same baby. \u00a0That is not possible.\u00a0 There are many ways in which the parental roles can overlap but nature and society is such that they are not completely interchangeable.<\/p>\n<p>Fathers and mothers, prepare children for life differently. This is because of the way we are wired. \u00a0We share the same <a href=\"http:\/\/www.wisegeekhealth.com\/what-are-neurochemicals.htm#didyouknowout\" target=\"_blank\">neurochemicals<\/a>, but in varying measures.\u00a0 The pathway for processing these chemicals is not the same either.\u00a0 A study by Cambridge University revealed differences between the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cam.ac.uk\/research\/news\/males-and-females-differ-in-specific-brain-structures\" target=\"_blank\">brain structures<\/a> of the sexes.\u00a0 There are also contrasts in processing information, blood flow and brain activity.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijs00MumorDad.jpeg\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"1191\" data-permalink=\"https:\/\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/mother-or-father-but-not-both\/ijs00mumordad\/\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijs00MumorDad.jpeg?fit=225%2C225&amp;ssl=1\" data-orig-size=\"225,225\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"ijs00MumorDad\" data-image-description=\"\" data-image-caption=\"\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijs00MumorDad.jpeg?fit=225%2C225&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"alignright wp-image-1191 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijs00MumorDad.jpeg?resize=225%2C225\" alt=\"MumOrDad\" width=\"225\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijs00MumorDad.jpeg?w=225&amp;ssl=1 225w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/ijs00MumorDad.jpeg?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><\/a>These affect how we behave as a mother and a father. \u00a0For instance, men and women play with their children differently. \u00a0Mothers tend to teach when playing whilst fathers, are adventurous. \u00a0Both provide valuable lessons.\u00a0 Genetically women are primary nurturers and emotional guardians.\u00a0 Professor <a href=\"http:\/\/childstudycenter.yale.edu\/faculty_people\/kyle_pruett.profile\" target=\"_blank\">Kyle Pruett<\/a>, says fathers \u2018hold their children differently and have a different kind of patience and frustration cycle than mothers\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>Being a woman is more than the physical body.\u00a0 It is a chemical and a social state of existence.\u00a0 Historically, societies are patriarchal and we have not yet reached a point of equality. \u00a0This experience contributes to a woman\u2019s role as mother. \u00a0A mother teaches her girl how to maneouver in an unequal society. \u00a0Women understand the raging hormones of teen girls because they are equipped to deal with it.\u00a0 Then there are the shared experiences from menstruation to menopause.\u00a0 Equally, they help their sons with the softer skills and crucially, the mother-son relationship affects <a href=\"http:\/\/www.courier-journal.com\/article\/20110908\/FEATURES03\/309080027\/1010\/features\/Relationship-mom-crucial-boys?odyssey=tab%7Ctopnews%7Ctext%7CFeatures\" target=\"_blank\">boys\u2019 adult behaviour<\/a>. \u00a0A University of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.reading.ac.uk\/news-and-events\/releases\/PR273789.aspx\" target=\"_blank\">Reading<\/a> study found a strong mother-son bond, gives rise to strong, independent men.<\/p>\n<p>This does not mean that men or transgender individuals are incapable of mothering, but they cannot be a \u2018mother\u2019 in the biological sense of male-female chemistry and social history.\u00a0 This leads to the inevitable conclusion that, nature has arranged that women bring a womanliness to motherhood and men a male-ness.\u00a0 That precludes a redefinition of \u2018mother\u2019 to include male or transgender parents. \u00a0Perhaps we should start to look at new terms to explain parenting besides mother and father, because it does not cover all the dynamics.\u00a0 Thus, one cannot be a father and mother to a child.<\/p>\n<div class=\"likebtn_container\" style=\"\"><!-- LikeBtn.com BEGIN --><span class=\"likebtn-wrapper\"  data-identifier=\"post_1187\"  data-site_id=\"632a645f943ec93423ce055c\"  data-style=\"\"  data-unlike_allowed=\"\"  data-show_copyright=\"\"  data-item_url=\"https:\/\/imjussayin.com\/blog\/mother-or-father-but-not-both\/\"  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